Niceness... It can be a double-edged sword, right? I mean, people have told me that I am "too"nice so they are grateful while I have had others say that I am "too" nice and people view that as weakness. I know I should not be bothered by what other people think, but I am human. I am also going through this journey of growth and transmutation so I get to analyze it and grow.
Here is the thing, When I was younger, I wanted everyone to like me. I felt that by being a nice person that everyone would like me. I did not know initially that this was also a doorway for people who had ulterior motives to come in and drain me of my energy, my time and money. This led to me being a victim for many, many years. I suffered but in this suffering, I learned a lot and had a breakthrough. The downside is that I became very passive aggressive in this process. My vision became so blurry because I did not know who was using me and who really cared about me. The sad part was that I was actually trying to win the love and affection of the people who were, in fact, had selfish gains. I remained nice however, I soon became a fighter. I wanted to physically fight those users an those who I thought were users. I became angry. I had to show people I wasn't a punk bitch. My self-esteem so was low, that I still wanted friends. I did not want to deal with me.
On the other side, I knew that I was a child of God and I firmly believed, and I still believe, the Golden Rule as THE law when interacting with others. I prayed and prayed. Soon, I started to really see the people who appreciated my niceness. I still showed niceness to those who didn't but in a different way. As Former First Lady Michelle Obama said, "When they go low, we go high." I did and continue to do just that. I am not perfect. I have my days where I snap or have emotions behind people underestimating or making assumptions about my niceness.
As my journey moves forward, I see that being nice is never being weak. Being nice makes me so very strong, powerful and courageous because I still stand. I still have a big heart. I have not allowed the selfish people or my negative experiences to allow me to become bitter or negative. I can still be about my business and still be nice. I mean, I am from LA.
Today, I choose to be nice and I choose to be in power.
No comments:
Post a Comment